Intimacy is a state or feeling of closeness, connection, and safety with another person.
In true intimacy, you know your partner will support you even if they do not agree with you. Intimacy includes a good sense of self plus empathy and understanding for the other. It is a wonderful place to be.
No partner can fulfill all the needs of the other partner. (This is called “parenting”, not intimacy.) As adults, we need to be aware of our own needs and learn how to deal with them ourselves. Our partner can help at times but their role is not to make us happy. WE make ourselves happy.
Intimacy also does not relate only to sex. Sex is a moment of high intimacy, but it does not linger. Other components of intimacy need to be present in order to make a fulfilling romantic relationship fulfilling for both partners in the long term. These components are:
- Sense of self: you know who you are, recognize your strengths and limitations, know your life goals and what you expect from a healthy relationship. You also know the baggage you carry from your past life and how it can impact your current relationship. Both partners need to work on themselves individually so they can be there for each other.
- Emotional intimacy: sharing your innermost thoughts, pain or joy with your partner, and listening to your partner’s.
- Intellectual intimacy: sharing your preferences with your partner (hobbies, your views of life, etc.), and listening to your partner’s.
- Physical intimacy: being affectionate with one another, such as hugging, holding hands, OR having sex.
- Experiential intimacy: doing some things together in an interactive manner, such as working on a house project, go on a ride bike together.
- Spiritual intimacy: sharing inspiring moments together, such as going to church, walking in nature, meditating.
If you are curious to learn more about it, feel free to ask questions here, schedule a first session here, whatever you think fits you better.
