How to Cope with the Stress of Having to Hide Your Sexuality
These days it feels like anti-LGBT sentiment is increasing all over the country even as we celebrate diversity. For some, it might be harder to come out than it once was. The constant fear of being rejected, discriminated against, or harmed can take a significant toll on your mental health and overall well-being. But there are ways to cope with the stress of having to hide your sexuality and set yourself up to come out at the right time.
Accept Who You Are
Many people have unresolved internalized queerphobia. This can be especially true if you still have to hide your sexuality from the world. Learning to love and accept yourself will leave less room for low self-esteem and negative self-talk. Be honest with yourself about why you’re still feeling pressured to hide your sexuality and find things to take pride in. You might even think of this step as coming out to yourself! It’s also important to remember that you’re not alone. Many LGBTQ+ people have had to hide their sexuality at some point in their lives, and it can be challenging. However, it’s essential to focus on the positive aspects of your life, such as your relationships, career, or hobbies. Celebrate your accomplishments and remind yourself of your strengths and resilience.
Build a Support Network
Surround yourself with people who accept and love you for who you are. It’s important to reach out to at least one person with whom you can be your true self—even if they’re an online friend! Seek out LGBTQ+ support groups (whether on the internet or in person) and build connections with people who share similar experiences. This will provide a safe space where you can be yourself without fear of judgment or rejection. You can also get support from trusted family members or friends who are allies to the LGBTQ+ community. Having a strong network can help reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness and provide a sense of belonging.
Take Time for Yourself
Prioritize taking care of your body and emotions. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as reading, cooking your favorite meal, or going for a walk. Exercise regularly to boost endorphins and reduce stress. Practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation or deep breathing exercises to calm your mind and reduce anxiety. Ensure you are getting enough sleep and eating a balanced diet to maintain your physical health.
Find Ways to Show Your Identity
Staying in the closet might mean you can’t present yourself to the world the way you want to. Instead of focusing on the hairstyle and clothes you can’t wear yet, find something that you can keep around that reps who you are in a small way. It could even be something you keep secret, like a small memento or talisman you carry with you. This can be one way of showing up for yourself and celebrating your identity.
Talk to a Therapist
Coming out is a deeply personal decision that everyone arrives at on their own time. Don’t let anyone force you to share something you’re not ready to. But if the thought of being open with your sexuality gives you severe anxiety, it might be time to talk to someone. A licensed therapist can help you work through any internalized queerphobia you may have and provide a non-judgmental and supportive space where you can explore your feelings. They’ll guide you toward healthy coping mechanisms and strategies to manage stress and anxiety.
To find out more about how therapy can cope with hiding your sexuality, please reach out to us.
