Navigating the Stress of Having to Hide Your Sexuality
The closet is a difficult place. There are millions of LGBTQ+ people all over the world who are forced to hide their sexuality for fear of discrimination, violence, and losing family members. If you’re in a situation where you can’t be open about being queer, you’re probably feeling increased anxiety. Learning to cope with staying in the closet is crucial until you’re in a safer time and place to come out.
The Negative Effects of the Closet
Sexual orientation doesn’t inherently cause mental health issues. But negative treatment, homophobia, transphobia, violence, and fear all contribute to worse mental health outcomes for LGBTQ+ people. If you’re forced to keep your sexuality a secret, you may develop mental health issues such as chronic depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety, substance abuse disorder, and lowered self-esteem, among others. It’s important to learn how to cope with the stress of hiding your sexuality so that you lessen its impact over the course of your life.
Find a Trusted Circle
Everyone needs someone to talk to. Even if it’s not safe to come out to the wider world, confide in one or two of your closest friends you can trust. You could even seek out a school counselor, family friend, or mentor. Exercise caution—you don’t want any of these people to out you without your permission. Find safe spaces online if you don’t feel safe trusting anyone around you with your experiences. There are people all over the world just like you who have to hide their sexualities. The internet can connect you with people you might not otherwise cross paths with.
Find a Role Model
Because of the internet, learning about queer history and icons is easier than ever. Even if you don’t personally know anyone who’s part of the LGBTQ+ community, you can easily find someone who makes you feel empowered, whether they’re a historical figure or an online personality. When you have a role model, you have someone you can aspire to be like once you’re able to live openly.
Write Down Your Feelings
Journaling is a great way to examine your emotions and get everything onto paper, especially if you don’t have people to confide in. Bottling up your emotions only has negative effects down the line. Journaling also gives you the space to get creative—write fiction, practice affirmations, or doodle in the margins.
Practice Safety Online
Social media and news feeds can be informative, but they can also be stressful and triggering. Feel free to block key terms, websites, or people who spread negativity and send your thoughts spiraling. In a time when LGBTQ+ people are being demonized in conservative circles, it’s especially important to take care of yourself while scrolling.
Focus on Yourself
In times of stress, it can feel easier to withdraw and neglect yourself. This is why it’s even more important that you make it a priority to eat healthily, get exercise, sleep well, and do things that give you pleasure. When you keep your body healthy, your mind is more at ease. Find activities that make you feel safe and empowered so that you can express yourself in some way since you need outlets for self-expression.
Talk to a Therapist
Hiding your sexuality is traumatic and stressful. You might feel isolated and depressed. If it’s accessible to you, therapy can help. A licensed therapist trained in LGBTQ+-specific issues can help you cope with living in the closet and navigate the coming-out process when the time comes.
To find out more about how therapy can help you deal with the stress of hiding your sexuality, please reach out to us.
